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Welcome to the ramblings of the heart. Once opened, it has much to say. Be prepared, that there is some reading to do here….

I’m going to go out on a limb here and this might make some people sink in to a puddle of despair but, modern day romance and all that it stands for it faux love and this is why so many relationships fail or people can’t seem to find the ‘missing link’ or ‘fill the gap’ on that certain ‘Je ne se quoi’. I will try my hardest to explain why in a podcast you can listen to in greater detail HERE but in order to find true love, pure romance and that real deal relationship / twin flame union you so long for, it starts with YOU! You and your own essence, and the thing is, you won’t get that real deal love break until you get it with yourself first. You will only ever truly find your one true love when you find yourself and then, the rest will follow! Shame guys, sorry but, it’s a fact!

I’ve touched on this over the years and many people really dislike the points I make about the fake illusions that come from certain mainstream entertainment enterprises such as the music industry or Hollywood via movies or TV shows, even books etc but the majority of the stuff we consider romantic or love filled are filled with nothing but a dull, corporate undertone and have been created to numb the senses and create an illusory depiction of what real love is. Let me explain; When I studied Psychology, the work I most resonated with was the works of Carl Jung. His psychologies and philosophies we’re right up my street because he focused a lot on the persona along with the shadow and the unconscious mind whilst also founding analytical psychology which allowed for a deeper understanding of ones own psyche and subconscious development, all of which is exactly what I am specifying to be the very thing we need to focus on in order to establish our own essence and find that universal divine love that breaks all boundaries and illusions.

Jungs ‘Golden shadow’ is what is defined as a projection that many misinterpret for love and romance but in actual fact, it’s an illusion based on false feelings. What we often mistake for love is merely a feeling of sexual infatuation or a projection of ones own hopes of what we want / desire for in another person or lust stemming from a prior experience that causes a ‘thrill’ which we then chase time and time again until the feeling of the thrill runs out, which inevitably 9/10 times, it does. Why?

Because we’re chasing a shadow without ever really doing the shadow work on ourselves. So time and time again, we go looking for a person with all our hopes and desires pinned on them based on our own projections and we expect them to meet our needs only to be let down because they have their own needs too which you haven’t met because we’re externally aiming for someone outside of us to fulfil something inside of us that can only be achieved once we have fulfilled it within us ourselves so, time and time again, we move on to the next one that matches our projections only to fail time and time again because the only person we should be looking for is ourselves and in finding ourselves, we find that divine essence from our soul, the deepest level we can reach within ourselves and once you’ve reached that point, you won’t ever need to chase that ‘thrill’ because you will have connected to a wholeness within you. The magic part then, is to find a match. Someone who has done the same inner work and shadow work and once you can put 2 souls together that are embodied and whole, there will be no chase the thrill for instead of projecting their expectations, they will ‘reflect’ exactly what the other does without even trying.

If you remember times when you were in love, you’ll recall that the other person seemed all loving, shining, wonderful, right? Then after a few months, you wonder where the loving, shining, wonderfulness went. You must think that they stopped loving you, but no! Those qualities were an illusion to start with. It was always just a projection of your own essence. This doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t have an essence of their own, but that wasn’t what you were seeing. You were projecting your essence on to him. That was what you were really in love with

A.H Almaas

See, it’s YOU! It’s always about you!

When I experienced ‘heartache’ in the 90’s thanks to my 1st serious breakup (Thanks Fatty) my insides ate me alive. The pain was so intense I never thought I’d make it. These were the days pre-internet or mobile phones where on long distance, which during college breaks we sufferably endured, we used to…..WRITE EACH OTHER LETTERS! Yes, love letters! I will start this acknowledgement of my 1st boyfriend by hitting hard on something highly worthy of sharing here….. My boyfriend and I were living in Chichester, Sussex and I was just about to turn 18. It was 1997 and the official Baz Lurman version of Romeo and Juliet was about to get released onto VHS. Guys, that’s a video cassette that we used to have to put in to a video player to watch on the TV and in this instance, new releases were only ever available on rentals and NEVER on sale copies until at least 3 months after release date but, this boyfriend of mine knew just how much I loved Romeo and Juliet and more importantly just how much it meant to me that he went in to the video store and haggled with them to let him buy their rental copy for my birthday gift. I don’t know what he paid but come on! How damn romantic is that? Would a boy these days in 2023 do that for his girl? He also bought me a teddy bear (also fatty, neither were actually fatties) that I still have to this day, (in fact my youngest daughter now has fatty teddy in her bedroom) and my boyfriend used to write me the most beautiful letters that I would fold up tightly and keep stuffed up fatty’s jumper so that my sister or mother wouldn’t find them.

Ah but I would read these letters every single night over and over. Then in the early 00’s, my beloved and most favourite jazz singer Diana Krall released her album called ‘Love letters’ and her song ‘Love letters straight from the heart’ broke my heart into a million pieces and every time I hear that song, my soul sets on fire

”I’m not alone in the night
When I can have all the love
You write
I memorize every line
And I kiss the name
That you sign And darling then
I read again
Right from the start
Love letters straight from your heart”

I mean, when you hear this voice signing these words and the feeling of knowing how that feels, there’s something raw and desperate about this kind of love that I’m so afraid we’re losing and that generations to follow just won’t know what we’re even talking about let alone feeling…..

There’s nothing about the mainstream that ignites me with true love vibes. Since the birth of the internet, we’ve become shallow to feelings and really numbed down and out to the depths of love and romance. All the movies and music since the birth of the millennia scream corporate undertone and not enough frequency. Yep, even Ed Sheeran doesn’t float the love boat, sorry! And I’m worried that REAL LOVE, the love that holds innocence and pure essence will be lost because everything’s become far too material and superficial and there’s not enough magic or soul involved in our connections any more.

As the mother of daughters, I make it very much my mission to instil the classics, of the times when innocence and simplicity prevailed before we fell so hard and low. My eldest, who at this moment in time is 13, has watched every version of Anna Karenina with me, some over and over, and she LOVES the depth of those times, when flowers smelt like flowers and everything had a signature of purity and realness, hard wood furniture, heavy fabrics, tweeds, silks, arts and antiquities, people dancing together in halls or fields, girls with ribbons in their hair and music that came from instruments and not synthesised machines or computers.

I guess you can’t fault me given that I grew up in the North of England and went to the very school that was founded by the Bronte Sisters, where literary excellence was in our blood and there’s a cutting line between the brutal distinction of greatness and sheer mediocrity when it comes to artistically expressing the sentiments of love.

She has read my Romeo and Juliet, Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice and watched me crying through ‘The English Patient’ and ‘The end of the affair’ and I long to have my daughters truly know the feelings of love and heartbreak like I did, because it’s by far the one thing that takes you to the edges of being dead and alive like nothing else on earth.

Dramatic much? Well, teenagers these day’s don’t quite do it how we did it in the 90’s. I say to my husband all the time, our generation are the bridge builders between the old world and the new. We were the last to know what life was like before the internet took over and we actually laid in bed reading letters over and over, actually touching the words with our finger tips and analysing every pen stroke. It seems that children of the naugtie generation have a very different outlook and expectation of what love is but, I’m not ready to give it all up and lose what generations before me poured out of their hearts, in times that were far darker and weightier than ours so that we could understand the depth of where we come from, from the trails of their love conquests and heartaches. I can envision where we’re going, but I don’t think we’ll get there unless we can tap in to our hearts. I can sense the rebirth of the renaissance and the coming back to a golden age where we transcend the darkness to light and put love back on the scene again for what it truly stands for. An age where humanity takes centre stage and we can reassess our power structures and give rise to our own enlightenment with man being the centre of his own universe. An age of love and unity. What do you think?

So, I am writing my book LOVE LETTERS. A book that looks at all the essence of timelines before us but that moves between them all in order to tie together unions based on something hopefully relatable to our current timeline /generation and deep enough that it repeats the sounding joy of the classical empires that rang the bells of love and romance like pure kings and queens before us! A book based on Greek and Roman mythological themes and energetics but that will harbour actions and characteristic displays representative of our modern times

In keeping with all things Venus inspired, let’s have 2023 be the year that we open up our hearts and remember the pure essence of love and romance. I will keep you posted on progress via social as the stories unfold. It’s so exciting to be working on some fiction vibes but very daunting at the same time as I haven’t ever published work that is birthed from the realms of the imagination but, here we go! Long live all the love and romance and may it never fade from our hearts

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